Swing freely

Attachment to bad experiences in our lives serve as anchor points which prevent us from moving forward and enjoying life's every possibility. Not only do these anchors prevent forward progress, but they offer a comfortable rut which effectively feeds our negative ideas and validate our ego.

When we think of ego, we often think of our pride. Our ego tells us we are important and actions done to us are personal. Therefore when we are wronged, our ego screams, "How could this happen to ME!" as if the offender was out to get us. It may seem as such, but rather the other person is acting in a way that serves him/her regardless of the effect on us. The inconsiderate guy that cuts us off and nearly runs us off the road has no vendetta against us, and yet we react to his car swerving as if he was personally out to kill US. The untrained ego has very little perspective outside of us being the center of the universe.

We become mired in the pain that was inflicted upon us and see the situation in a very black and white way as them against us. If we fail to resolve the issue, understand our culpability in the situation, and move on, we allow a hurt to fester and slowly eat at us. We can all recall a painful incident with an individual that smarts as much as it did when it first happened. Recollection is healthy, but rumination is not. It is important to recognize the patterns which place us in situations that may or may not be to our benefit. However, when we walk around with a suspicious eye, waiting for the axe to fall so to speak so that we may be prepared, we are robbing ourselves of the freedom to experience life unencumbered; without the ghosts of the pasts clouding our present.

Releasing ourselves from the binding of pain can help us get an objective view of ourselves and those who surround us. We will forever be affected by any given incident, but we cannot be solely defined by it. The infinite opportunities for happiness can seemingly disappear when our focus is on that which is/was wrong. As all things change and evolve, we must allow our hearts to forgive and breathe openly so that the light of life may shine through.

Unhinge yourself from past pains so that you may swing freely through life as intended.

Your vision, Your way

There are few people in our lives that are as supportive as our close family and friends. They are the ones who shout encouragement to you when you feel you have nothing left to give.

However, their support is bounded by the limits of their imagination. At a certain point, their tireless shouts of, "You can do it," start turning into "You might be able to do it," to “Do you think you can handle that," and finally to "You are crazy if you think you can do that." It's not that they no longer believe in our individual capabilities. Rather their fear and insecurity overshadow their well-meaning thoughts, rendering them incapable of seeing past their own limits. So they place these imaginary limits on others.

Everyone has his/her own talents to share with the world. These talents help shape and mold our notions of our purpose and what we hope to accomplish along out life's journey. As each vision is individualized, so is the ability to clearly see the vision and its potential. If we start looking at our vision through another's eyes, surely the view will be warped or distorted in some way as our perspectives are uniquely ours. Our methods of idea conception, development, and execution are ultimately ours and should be dealt accordingly.

This does not negate the helpful input others have to enhance and embellish others' ideas. We should be discerning in the information that we receive and filter through others' fears and extract only which will be helpful in our situation. And after all is said and done, if the idea is less than successful, many lessons will be learned and there's no tarnish on our abilities. We will know we saw our idea to the end, did our best, and we better for having experienced all successes and failures. We did not accomplish what we set out to do, but we weren't mired by others' inabilities, and so we will not be plagued by what ifs which nag at us incessantly.

Believe in yourself and your vision no matter the naysayers, and you will see your highest dreams come true.

Manage your expectations

Everyone remembers the story of the little train that could. The refrain “I think I can” is so simple and yet so effective. Despite the ‘obvious’ obstacles to our goals, if we think we can, we ultimately can. And if we don’t try, then we definitely cannot.

That little train had to address two issues. One was allowing himself to want more. The other was believing he could do more. Often people think that they should keep their goals within a “realistic” range. We believe that if we keep expectations to what seems possible, we’ll never be disappointed. In reality, by limiting our goals, we never fully realize what we can accomplish with that extra bit of push and motivation to satisfy ourselves. By erecting a glass ceiling, we satisfy our need to reinforce our positive image of ourselves. We set a goal and we are responsible enough to achieve it. However, if that goal is less than ambitious, we are curtailing our abilities to stretch further and do so much more. In the short run, we are cheating ourselves, and in the long run we’ll eventually realize it and shatter all notions of our positive self image.

We have to be willing to face our mistakes along our journey and give them their appropriate weight. A setback is no indication that the goal should have been set closer. Rather, we no have learned one of the ways that we will not get to our goal and we adjust accordingly. It is this continual adjustment of our approach which allows us to surmount obstructions in the road and make it farther than we would have previously dreamed. All the tools to achieve what we want are within us. We just have to believe that we have the will, ability, and perseverance to see our trials through.

Keep your personal expectations high and you'll keep amazing yourself with what you can accomplish.